Angel
6 February, 2008

“Notice anything different about me?”
He asked. “No.” His face stared back
At me, but not exactly as normal.
“Perhaps,” I thought, but didn’t say.

“I saw an angel,” he said slowly.
“At least that’s what I think I saw.
It glowed with a bright golden light,
As it came down from the sky.

“I could see it’s wings beating
In time to a heavenly melody
Filling the air and blotting all the
Noises of the clattering city.”

He looked down at the formica-
Topped table, picking at a small
Nick in the brown and white surface
But looking at nothing at all.

“You don’t believe me, do you.”
He started straight up at me, his
Eyes level, but his voice trembling.
I realised I didn’t know what to say.

There was a lifetime in his stare.
A cascade of hope and ambitions,
Illusions and failures in the seconds
In which his gaze imprisoned mine.

“Sometimes, even I am not sure myself.
It could have been a hallucination, or
Maybe the ghost of a long lost love.
I don’t think I will ever know.

“But it seemed so real, as I stood
In the park, hearing nothing of the
Children and dogs playing, just
Staring up at the flowing golden light.”

Eventually, he stopped talking, finishing
Off his cold coffee in one swift gulp.
He asked me whether I wanted another
And suddenly I woke from my reverie.

We have known each other forever,
But now I do not know what to say
To a man I no longer know, struggling
With something he cannot understand.

I would like to leave this dead-end cafe
While he tries to remember our order.
But I know that I could never escape
Even if I succeeded in passing him by.

I stop watching him, his shaking hands
Counting out a few coins from his pocket.
He is a broken shadow, a shattered soul.
But who can judge a man who believes?

Haven’t we all wished that we had seen
An angel through the nagging despair that
Takes us so seductively by the hand and
Leads into the darkened pit of life?

He returns to the table with a nervous
Smile, sliding into the anonymous seat
With palpable relief, escaping the gaze
Of people who do not know his turmoil.

There is hope, doubt, pain and delight
In his eyes, searching mine for a strand
Of understanding and shared insight.
I smile back, trying to be convinced.