Innocence is ignorance
28 February, 2008

There really is nothing new you can say. I think you know it’s true. When you slip the harem of wall-to-wall entertainment, running barefoot down the road, you realise that the dust-blown streets are empty, but everything is familiar. It is a colour-drained version of everything you have ever known.

You think you can find it. You twist and turn in the wind, the sunlight playing off your dirty hands, holding them up to flow demon shadows on the ground. You push at the trees, the buildings, kicking up sand in the play pit. Try the swings, squeezing your hips into the tiny seat, ignoring the pain as you fly back and forth. It is all cold. The breeze on your arm that you never felt, the metal taking the warmth away, the scratching of the floor on your feet, the grit in your eye. The dark cloud heralding the end of the day. Don’t go home. Don’t leave yourself behind.

Innocence is ignorance. But repeat the mantra, drink the water. Herbal tea and organic veg. You cannot catch the butterfly. It is beyond the grasp of your mechanical hand, so slow and clunky. Get drunk, aim for the narrow gap between sobriety and intoxication. Slip your shoulders, tilt your head. There is a path in, an eighth of an inch. Can you hear it? The tiny voice. Wait………….No, it’s gone. Are you sure it was there?

I am tempted by your wishful thinking. It makes me feel like a dreamer. Actually, I think I saw you. Walking the cracked street, a bag in your hand. I like the way the sunlight played in your hair. You were a picture, a perfection of art over triumph. But I couldn’t get close. You were too far away, you would have been gone by the time I arrived.

Perhaps I am cynical. Don’t believe a word I say. Try to play the tricks of light and find the alleyways that lead out of here. There must be a way, you can tell yourself. I really don’t mind. A path to the original, the fresh, the new. I wish you luck.