Excerpts from lost novels
18 March, 2008

You see, I adore the applause. That’s what keeps me going, really. That and the very experience of being on stage. The lights, the feel of the boards beneath my feet, the smell. You know, theatres have such a distinct smell. Something about the very particular mix of wood, varnish and plaster, I suspect, and the dust rising from the lights…

Of course, these places have lost a lot of their character. In the old days, when Gielguid, Ralph and dear, dear Larry trod the boards, it was all so different. Those were real actors. They made the very room come alive when they took the stage. As they emerged from the wings, you could feel a hush descend and all eyes turned to them. I tell you, it was as if the world didn’t exist, except in them. Sometimes, one can almost feel their ghosts, urging you to give everything you have, to touch the audience with the unique magic of the theatre, as they so often did. It reminds me of when I was playing Horatio to Gielguid’s Hamlet in, where was it? Guildford, I think. ‘55. Must have been. As I listened to him intone those marvellous words – Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy… – I was transported, I tell you. I wasn’t on the stage anymore. I was in a Danish graveyard, and nothing existed but Gielguid, that skull and me. Little me, so young and so naïve, really, rapt and learning at the knee of a master. A fellow of infinite jest. Indeed he was. And of most excellent fancy. Everyone adored him, you know.

Malcolm gazed at the young woman sitting opposite him in his tiny, faded dressing room, the light bulbs reflecting in her glasses. She shifted nervously in her chair and smiled weakly. Oh, look at me, Malcolm said. Here I am whittering on about my marvellous memories of the stage. You don’t want to listen to all that. No, it’s very interesting, the young woman said hurriedly. You are too kind, my dear. Too, too kind. But what have you come to talk to me about, snaring me in my private lair, my refuge? I love these moments, you know, in the hours before the curtain call. Everything seems so quiet, so peaceful in here, while the stagehands and theatre staff flit about outside my door, getting it all ready for my appearance. All that for me. So kind of them. So kind.

Well, Mr Bains. Do call me Malcolm, the old actor said, patting the young woman on the knee. Well, Malcolm, the woman said, smiling nervously. Your agent, David, asked me to come up to Oxford to see you this afternoon. Yes, my dear? He asked me to come up and talk to you about the show. Unfortunately, he, he has been detained in London, so can’t come up himself…

That’s very kind of David to send you…Angela. Yes, Angela, thank you. It is a shame that he couldn’t make it himself, after all the years we have been working together, but I am charmed to have you here, Angela. Malcolm patted Angela on the knee again, smiling indulgently and leaning forward slightly.

The thing is, Malcolm, David is a little worried. About the show. The show, my dear? I must confess that my last couple of performances have perhaps been a little flat. I have been struggling with a slight infection and I know I haven’t been able to give my anecdotes about the marvellous actors I have worked over the years their normal zest. It may have explained some of the muted responses of the audience, but I shall soon be back to my best, having them rolling in the aisles and wiping tears from their cheeks, as I have done so many times in the past. Malcolm raised his right index finger and smiled triumphantly.

It’s nothing to do with your performances, Malcolm. They have been fine. Great, in fact. Indeed? What is it? Do tell. Well, the thing is… Yes? The things is, sales have been very poor. The theatres we have done so far have been half full at best and we are struggling to sell tickets. We have tried everything. Campaigns in the local press, leaflets, posters, but the response has been…disappointing. Unfortunately, Malcolm…Mr Bains…Sorry, Mr Bains. Unfortunately, we can’t sustain any more losses on the tour, and we are going to have to cancel the remaining dates. Including tonight? Yes.

Malcolm, suddenly crumpled, looked at his wire-frame glasses, folded neatly on the dressing table, and his make-up box. He hadn’t started putting it on yet. No need for that now. He gazed down at his jacket and smoothed out a fold, feeling the rough tweed under his palm. I am old, Malcolm said, still looking at the material of his jacket. Is that what you are telling me? Too old? No, not all. Just…What? Unpopular? No-one wants to hear my stories anymore, is that it? I’m sorry, Mr Bains.

I don’t have anything else, you know. I’m so sorry. What am I going to do? Malcolm looked up at Angela, tears welling up in his eyes. I’m all alone. I have no-one. The stage is my only friend. I have nothing else. I’m really sorry. Please. Stop saying that. Angela looked down at the threadbare carpet as Malcolm smoothed his jacket again. Shall I get you a taxi back to your hotel? Yes please, he said quietly. David told me to make sure that you got back to London okay. Did he? How very kind. He really should…Can I have a few moments to myself? I’ll join you upstairs shortly, but I would be alone for a little while. Yes, of course.